Miss Alternative Final, Featuring OUR LAST ENEMY

Swarms of the weird and wonderful underground congregated at Sydney's Gaelic Theatre for the finals of the Miss Alternative Pageant, which saw unconventional beauties from all over Australia hand selected to participate in this celebration of alternative culture. And with an entourage of punk and metal bands in towe, there was certainly something to suit every taste.

Having to pull out of the show due to the recent flooding in their hometowns, the Go Go Haunters and Dead End Kings left only one band to emerge from the muddy wastelands of QLD in time for the event. The aptly named Tropic Vampirates took to the stage complete with their own cross-dressing pirate drummer, who goes by the title of General Dick. Front man Jack Heartless surfaced in a pair of Aviators as would any self-respecting glam-pire, as they launched straight into a sequence of dirty and raw punk tunes that were greatly inspired by The Misfits. There was nothing revolutionary there, but I did get the feeling it was more of a rehearsal than a performance judging but the lack of energy and conviction coming from the four piece.

Horrorwood Mannequins burst onto the stage with a barrage of fierce vocals and screaming guitar, of which the riff work almost indecipherable at times due to the excessive distortion and treble that was coursing through the amps. Judging by the velocity that bassist HIV RentAkill’s dreadlocks were traveling at, he would have suffered from severe whiplash afterwards, their vigor eventually rubbing off on the audience.

At the helm of the madness was Audri Medicate (also M.C for the event), stirring up trouble at every opportunity, the Manson-esque performer cranked up the debauchery by throwing insults out into the crowd as if it were candy. The audience was braced and ready for anything by the time Horrorwood was through with them.

Next the pageant contestants were given the chance to show off their skills and wit before the panel made their final decision. On a side note, it was observed that most of the entrants made their own costumes, including Miss Lutetium whose dress was constructed wholly out of bubble wrap and tape.

The night was not without its rock star moments as the event dragged on later than scheduled due to the opening act of the night, Tropical Vampirates, returning to the stage to do an additional set to a noticeably unimpressed crowd. After being subjected to the monotonous “Zombie Girl” song twice in one night I can honestly say that the second helping was completely unnecessary, I got it the first time!

Now that I had shook the sensation of a Groundhog day type scenario, I was ready for something completely different, which Octanic delivered in spades, bringing a more groove orientated sound which encouraged the mass of previously rigid punters. Octanic lightened up the proceedings with their onstage charisma, the boys from Adelaide just happy to have their turn beneath the bright lights.

By this stage the Gaelic had transformed into a night club, with the pageant finalists busting their best moves while the judges were busy deliberating over the winner. To keep the masses entertained, fresh from a successful national and New Zealand tour, Our Last Enemy whipped out a well polished set featuring a onslaught of explosive tracks from their latest offering "Fallen Empires". Oliver Fogwell confidently leading the pack with an impressive array of vocal tricks, as the industrial charge was brought home by the pristine resonance of drums courtesy of Jeff Ritchie.

The only time my attention lapsed was during some of the down tempo segments of their songs, which sometimes stray a little too far into obscurity for such a high energy band. Our last Enemy definitely sit a big cut above the majority of local acts in Sydney at this point in time, whether you love or hate the nu metal sound, there is no denying the boys have crafted the band into a fine tuned industrial metal machine that could rival many of the international acts that frequent our shores.
 
The devastatingly gorgeous Xibalba Bunny from Adelaide took out the crown for Miss Alternative; adorned with a genuine fox skull fascinator this femme fatale truly encompassed the meaning of alternative. It was a great opportunity to raise funds for the Queensland flood crisis while celebrating the thriving fashion and lifestyle that is synonymous with Australia’s heavy music scene. I am eager to see the caliber of artists and entrants that can be brought forth if the pageant if followed through next year, as the potential for this event to become a permanent fixture of Australian sub-culture is seemingly massive.

Visit: www.missalternative.com